I’m not sure if it is a generational thing, an age thing, a parent thing, or what but I am becoming increasingly aware and some what concerned about the free use of expletives, foul language, curse words, cussing openly, in public and also by women. When I say women I’m not talking about alcoholic trailer “trash” woman, lady truckers, or Harley riding Mamas! These are well educated non tattooed (as far as I can tell) intelligent and even otherwise well spoken women.
Now how many warning flags did I just raise with you? 😀 No I do not care for tattoos. It’s a sign to the world that you don’t play by the rules. You may be a wonderful person and generous to a fault, however that tattoo tells me that I should be concerned who you are. Bullsh*t you say? Really? How would you feel about a person that you didn’t know that had tattoos on their face? If you tell me it wouldn’t bother you, you are either a liar, or you have a face tattoo. 😉
How we present ourselves to the world is how people learn about who we are. Whether is it a tattoo, style of dress, or what we say, or how we say it, we are all being judged. We all want to be accepted so we change who we are over time to be accepted by the majority of the people. At first our parent(s) and then later by our peers. It’s normal, and no matter what we may think or say there is someone at some level that we want approval from.
From a relatively young age as a male I learned that men used the more colorful language when women were not around. This told me that in an all male setting there were different rules. As I entered junior high I learned that boys (mostly) were not as concerned about being caught, or getting in trouble, so the colorful male language was used, and heard more and more. Sometimes you’d hear it from coach during gym class.
You never ever heard this kind of language from a girl. Well I mean unless she was the trashy type. Double standards? Yes, of course. The world is full of them and always will be. So could it be that liberalism, and equality for women is the driving force behind the more liberal use of the normally for men only language? Certainly what I have stated so far is that men have no issue, at least in the proper setting, saying what ever word, or word combination they want. Shouldn’t woman have the same right? Of course, but how is this going to play with their peers?
I think that this type of equalization between the sexes makes the differentiation between men and women all that more difficult. I think some men, who may be initially interested in a girl that is more a peer later has second thoughts about a long term relationship. I mean do you really want to take this girl home to your Mom, and Dad? What about having children with her? To me it would be like starting a family with “Pink” or “Madonna”. Would a woman that cursed like a sailor, and was more an equal, that you could have sex, with be the person that you’d want to raise your child?
Of course interestingly as Madonna has gone from pop icon to parent she has changed her views on what children should be exposed to. Apparently becoming older isn’t the same as become more mature. It seems that personal values must be constantly assessed as your responsibilities change. This is a normal progression of life, at least for most people. I mean we learn and adjust. It just makes it embarrassing for those public figures that have made their views on sex, appropriate language known thought their words and actions, then to do a 180 degree turn when it’s THEIR children.
Pink is currently pregnant so it will be interesting to see how having a child changes her public persona. Personally I hope she becomes more “mature” in her words, actions and music. For example her most recent musical offering “F**kin’ Perfect”. Not only is this a song with the F-bomb, it a song with the F-bomb in the title. Surely here is a woman that is an equal with men, right? Now I’ll tell you I personally really enjoy Pink’s songs. I don’t follow music closely, I just listen to the radio, and when I hear a song I like I may buy it for a dollar. I’ll hear a song that I like, use the Internet to look it up and more often than not I’ll find out it’s a song by Pink.
Pink, even though young, has been around for awhile. She’s very successful and can pretty much do and say what she wants to. In a way she is trapped into being perceived a certain way so that she can continue to be followed and supported financially by her public. As the rebellious teen gives way to a rebellious Mother, well something, hopefully will change otherwise the child will suffer. I know who am I to judge Pink (P!nk)? I’m nobody, right? Yeah I’m just some guy with an opinion and one that isn’t very popular. I don’t have a problem with that, and I’m perfectly happy with my opinion. Feel free to write how wrong I am in the comments, or in your own blog. 😀
As recent as yesterday I was buying a Pink song, and I noticed a #1 song on the site I was on. It is called, “Forget You” by Cee-Lo Green. I found the video on youtube, and I was shocked to see that in my search that the real name of the song was “F*CK YOU” Holy crap! Here’s another example of a song that not only has the F-bomb it’s in the title. I watched the video and boy that is a good song. It’s a 50’s style song that is very catchy and very well sung. It is also funny, however I was disturbed by seeing children in a music video that promotes the use of this language. Am I really just so old and out of touch because I feel this way? Should I just stop blogging here at the desk, get a laptop, move to the porch so I can start telling those pesky neighborhood kids to get out of my yard?!?!?
Isn’t the more socially acceptable way to say F**K YOU, FORGET YOU? I think it s. On a side note I was amused when I was listing to “Forget You” on the radio this morning and that version of the song removes the “Shhh” from the lyrics “Ain’t that some Shhhh?” I mean they literally say “shhh” taming the song down further, but apparently not tame enough for the radio.
I believe the singer “M&M” (I’m not looking up the Ke$sha spelling) was asked in an interview if he allowed his children to listen to his expletive laced songs and he said no. I mean NO! Asked about the hypocrisy of this he said something to the effect that it is the parents responsibility to keep things from their children that they don’t want them to have. WHAT THE “FORGET”?!?!!? As a parent I’m supposed to control what my child is exposed to? There’s a hit song on the public radio called “Forget You” another song called “F**kin’ Perfect”. There prime time shows on network television with a masturbation theme.
So now educated funny intelligent women are using the f-bomb routinely in music videos. In podcasts, Internet “radio” shows. Should the FCC step in and sensor the Internet? Why, hell no, they are not doing that job on non network television. Have you tried enabling the “V” chip in your TV? Are you able to find ANYTHING on your TV for your child to watch?!?!? People, need to take responsibility for what they say and what they do.
I’m with you. It seems there are a few things at play here.
One is this supposed advancement in Women’s liberation, which in my view has actually gone backward with the promotion of the every day use of foul language and general tarting up. I think womens organizations have sold out due to politics. It seems if the political side is the correct one, it’s not to be questioned. I speak mostly about the encouraging of sexual exploitation.
John Lennon and Yoko Ono had a song, “Woman Is The Nigger Of The World” in which he decried how we (men) “make her paint her face and dance.” That was the original idea of women’s lib. But then it was decided somehow that as long as it was her idea to be or act like a pig, no problem. Nevermind that it promotes discrimination against those women who aren’t considered “attractive,” or that it encourages young men to treat women with less respect, like calling them hos and such. That seems cool and titillating and all, that is, unless these women want to grow up at some point and marry respectful men. It also dirties the pool of potential nice guys for the nice girls to marry.
The new generations fall into the same trap as those who preceded them, in thinking that everything they do is better, or more enlightened. Guys will always be guys because of their hormones, and “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free” isn’t just some quaint, old world term. It’s reality.
Then there’s the exploitation of youth by political and business interests. They use sex, and shock, and all things naughty to draw in their audience under the guise that they are being all grown up and liberated, when they’re really just using it to control them into following a political agenda or buy products.
And of course, there’s the foolishness of the youth themselves buying into the whole thing, including the tattoos. Personally, I don’t like them either, especially when a young person with beautiful skin is deliberately marring themselves. One day they’ll wish they still had that youthful glow. And as you suggest, it’s mostly about going along with the crowd. I never fell into that trap. Young people rebel against controlling parents by letting their peers control them instead. Duhhh. Congratulations, genius! Maybe the first few got tats to be rebellious, but the majority do it because they want to fit in. They’re just going along with the crowd, looking for that same approval, as you said.
Finally, getting back to the original topic of cursing. It’s the same story, but they’re ruining the value of expletives by overusing them. I believe they should be saved for special occasions, like when you’re truly pissed off, or when it’s REALLY funny. If you use them all the time, they’re almost never funny because they’re already expected. It takes higher intelligence to pick and choose those times.
That’s it. Enjoyed your post Tony. This has been a blog in a blog courtesy of TrappDog!
Yes exactly. It’s the equal rights for women, but does that mean that women must become men? Adam Carollo has a book called “In 50 years we’ll All be Women” I have not read the book and I’m just speaking to the title. If men are slowly becoming women, I think women are slowly becoming men! I am fine with women being equal. I try to treat my wife that way and in many ways she is certainly more important to the family than I am, but as a man I know my idenity. Personally I think this whole thing is a manipulation of women to make it easier for men to have casual sex with them. That’s a whole nuther blog post though!
I’ll be honest, I’m not all that thrilled with grown men dropping the f-bomb.
I agree. I am in fact a tattooed woman. For the most part, you can’t see my tattoos. I believe there is a time and place for that. I didn’t get my tattoos to make a statement or impress someone, my tattoos are for and always have been for me. It make me no less a woman, daughter, up standing citizen or great person. I’m a firm believer in not judging a book by its cover. When you start doing that you miss out on some of the best ppl that anyone could have asked for.
Now language…yes, I use very colorful language. No I wasn’t raised that way. It was drilled into my head at a young age ” girls just don’t do that, it’s un-lady like.” Yet at family functions when all of the female members were together, there was a few choice words used. Somehow over the years woman have begun to speak our minds without censoring our words. It happens. It’s more a society issue. We have dropped the ball on a lot if things, like making it ok to wear our pants down past our butts and girls dressing like hookers. It’s a change in our way of living, just like growing up we were discipline, now a days, you mention spanking a child you are labeled a bad parent.
Thank you very much for taking the time to reply. I wrote this article in the hopes for a better understanding. That’s the great thing about expressing and receiving opinions. I still fail to understand why the tattoos would be for you. What does it do for you? Perhaps this is too personal a question, or answer to reveal openly. I seem to be dumb about somethings, but I’m always curious. Anyone that doesn’t discipline their child the best way they see fit as a parent is a fool.